Nola is 5 Months Old!

I took Nola for her 4 mo check up on 3/29 (over a month late) and here are her stats:
weight: 14lbs 5oz (25-50%)
Height: 25" (25-50%)
Head: 39.5 cm (<5th %)
The dr said she should be rolling over between 4-6mos and that we should work on it with her. We hardly ever give her 'tummy time' because she spits up so much more (if that's even possible) when she's on her stomach, but we'll be starting that more now. Also, the dr prescribed her some Prevacid for her spit up issues. We upped her formula intake to 8oz every 3 hours, but she only keeps down about half of it. She gave her the dissolvable tablets and I tried to give her one this morning, hahaha, total failure. She kinda went like 'what's this?' and then started gagging and threw up all over the couch. So, we'll be dissolving it in a teaspoon of water from now on and then squirting it in her mouth with a med dropper. Much easier than cleaning the couch. I hope this helps because the poor girl is in a constant state of wetness. I mean really, I can't change her clothes as often as she soaks them and I know how gross it feels to sit in wet clothes. Bleh. Anyhow, I'll keep updating as to how it's working!

I finally got my hip mri done. After wasting a bunch of time making phone calls, I found out that the dr's office was waiting for my insurance to send them a pre-authorization before they sent the dr's order to the radiology place. Well the insurance co had sent the pre-auth straight to the radiology place, so they were waiting for the dr's order. I swear, NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING! Anyhow, so I went in yesterday morning (at 7, didn't get out till 9:25) and when the tech was getting me prepped I asked if she was going to do the dye scan. She said that since the dr didn't think I had an infection or anything that she didn't think we'd need to do the dye. Well after the first mri, she took me out and said, 'I think we better do the dye too.' This makes me wonder if she saw something on the first one that she thought might be 'wrong' and wanted a more thorough picture or maybe she just wanted to cover all her bases. They said it'd be 2-3 business days to get the results from the hematologist. I'm hoping to get some kind of answer because this amount of pain can't be deemed 'normal'.

I'm kind of sad knowing that I'll never be pregnant again.

Tony and I had our first counseling session through the peer counseling service at church. It was interesting and will probably be helpful. I think counselors have this ability to stare at someone in complete silence and not feel weird. I don't have that ability.

Allison's baby shower is this Saturday, so we'll be going up to Phx tomorrow after Tony gets home from work. I'm hoping to prep the food tomorrow so then it's ready to be cooked in Phx. I want to go to the Renaissance fair while we're up there, but we'll see if that actually happens.

19 weeks old

lounging in our pjs

(or banamas as Embry calls them)

My littlest girly is 19 weeks old!

Nola's still not rolling over. I've given up trying to move her along, I'm sure one day it'll just happen. In the meantime, Embry has taken to shoving Nola's butt off to the side and telling her to roll over. Nola has also figured out that she can make a lot of noise by screeching. I tried to get it on video, but so far, no success. She was supposed to have her 4 month check up yesterday, but it got rescheduled to this coming Tuesday.

We tried to get Embry to do a somersault, but she doesn't get it. If we help her, she does it, if not then she just rolls over to the side and yells, 'look at me, I did it!' Oh and she's almost always going poo poo in the potty now and when she does something right she says 'say yay for me!' Her imagination has exploded and she is constantly talking to her imaginary friends from Dora and Diego.

So I have to call my insurance company with my daily weight and blood pressure reading and I'm getting pretty tired of it. I understand they're trying to keep track of this to ensure I'm not retaining water etc but every time I report it, they call me back and ask me about my weight. Basically, they want to know why I weigh so much. Argh. I thought it was because of the steroids, but since I stopped those 2 weeks ago, I figured the weight would be coming off by now. Also our scale is messed up. I'll step on it once and it'll say 146, then 1 minute later it will say 152...I'm pretty sure that's not possible. While I'm on a rant, I'd like to say that I'm in a world of pain. It's my hips. You know how when you're pregnant you get really bad charlie horses? Well while I'm sleeping, that will happen, only it's in my butt, through my hip, and up my back. My house is in a constant state of disarray as well. Imagine how many times a mom bends down to the floor everyday? Well, I can't and therefore, whatever lands on the floor tends to stay there. I'm still waiting to hear about the hip mri. I should probably call them today and figure out what's going on.

Good news! It seems that Mello Yello (the coke version of Mt Dew) is becoming regularly available in the southwest. I found some at Walmart a few weeks ago and just about did a happy dance in the middle of the aisle. Then I went to the grocery store yesterday and behold, there was Mello Yello sitting in the soda section. YAHOO!

I missed a Week

Well, I got the blood tests back FINALLY and good news: no TTP for me! Woohoo! There was one blood test he didn't get so he had me go get some blood drawn for that (3 phlebotomists, 3 sticks in one arm, 1 in the other = good times) and he is sending me for an MRI of my hip. Oh, the ultrasound was fine, as I suspected. Good that there aren't any clots in there (esp since my inr has been low the past 3 weeks) but he's doing the MRI in case the bone has died in which case we'd discuss a hip replacement. So, we'll see. He's a funny guy. He told me that if I planned on having more kids that I should call him so he can go out of town, ha. :) I'm kinda sad that he doesn't need to see me anymore since he's actually a good doctor and nice, but I guess that's a good thing.

Nola is still insisting on rolling about 75% of the way onto her tummy, but she cannot get her arm out from under her. She's quite adorable. My MIL just left today after being here for 6 days and it was nice to actually get a proper amount of sleep. I got to sleep in today which is a good thing since the children refused to nap at the same time today (although Embry actually did sleep which is a rarity these days). Nola is also cooing a lot more and, dare I say, possibly spitting up less. I'm not sure though, it's hard to guage, but I'm taking her in for her 4 month appt next week anyhow so I'll ask the dr about it again. For now we've been continuing to put rice cereal in with her formula. The anti-spit up formula was nasty (all chunky coming back up) and also made her constipated so we went back to the gentlease.

I had my 'I'm Alive!' Party and it was awesome. There was a moment when I was walking downstairs and I could hear all the people chattering happily, see all the lights, hear the Christmas music, and I walked past the Christmas tree with a stupid smile on my face. I was just so happy to have recreated Christmas and spend time with all of my loved ones. Of course there were some missing, but it really turned out great. We played our version of Scribblish (hilarious) and Just Dance on the Wii (also hilarious), ate delicious food (ham, turkey, meatballs, wienies, potatoes, green beans, chocolate, french silk pie, apple pie, pumpkin pie...basically all you can imagine eating at Christmas), then set off fireworks in the backyard. They went a lot higher and were a lot louder than I had envisioned, so I'm happy none of the neighbors got upset...or at least didn't tell me that they got upset. :) Oh and for the most part, everyone dressed up pretty fancy which makes me oh so happy. I LOVE getting dressed up! Oh and I got my hair cut/highlighted the day before so that also made me feel good. Now the hard part: putting away all of our Christmas decorations!

Nola is 4 Months Old!

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Nola turned 4 months old on Saturday! She's getting to be such a big girl! I need to take her in for her 4 month appt but I know I have to do it late since her 2 month appt was done late. I'd like to know how much she weighs though. I think she looks pretty average myself, but I can definitely tell that her head circumference is super small. I put a headband on her that Embry wore as a baby and it wasn't even stretching the elastic enough to stay on. I have to say, she's quite the 'easy' baby. She really only fusses when she's hungry (and then WATCH OUT! It's a cry of death), needs her diaper changed, or is tired. She has started to get a little bit more squirmy lately though. If you sit her in the corner on the couch or something, she'll stretch her legs out straight to scootch herself down into more of a laying position. She does the same thing when you set her in your lap. She's also grabbing at a bunch of her toys now and kinda putting them in or towards her mouth. I have pretty much abandoned the mittens except she did gash her face pretty bad last week, but I feel that she likes to be able to grasp things at this point. Tony can make her laugh, but of course, I can't. It was the same with Embry...I guess my humor is an acquired taste. ;)

Tony's aunt came down from Maryland Fri night - Sun afternoon. She was in Vegas for a vet conference and stayed a little longer and drove down to see us. It was fun having her around! We played games, went out to eat, went to the desert museum, and watched a movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the desert museum since a)it was free with our pass and b)we got to do the long loop and see the cat canyon etc. Last time we went, we only did the short loop because it was right after thanksgiving and I was not feeling so hot. It's good to be well again!

Speaking of that, I feel like now that I'm pretty much 'back to normal' (whatever that means), that all the effort of friends etc going out of their way to see me, spend time with me, etc is just sort of fading. I mean, it feels like not many people actually think anything happened, or remember, or choose not to remember. Even for me it feels like nothing ever happened except then I go into the dr and am reminded, 'oh yes, I almost died so they're going to take extra special care of my health'. It's a weird transition for me to go from what seemed like everyone caring a lot to some people caring a normal amount. I'm not complaining or upset or anything, I'm just making an observation. It's also come up between me and Tony, like we'll be arguing about something and I'll just blurt out, 'I think life's a little too short to be arguing about this!'

Aaaanyhow, I'm excited that tomorrow I can get rid of all these empty milk jugs that have overtaken my shed (and a good chunk of my and my mom's time) because we'll be using them for the craft at MOPS.

I've gained 15lbs since I got out of the hospital. This is really making a dent in my self esteem. I'm pretty sure it's from the steroids and the best part is my face is super fat. I don't really notice it in the mirror, but when I see pictures, I'm like, 'woah, holy crud, what happened?!'

Still haven't gotten the ttp bloodwork back, or got called schedule the pelvic ultrasound, or got a call to reschedule my rheum appt. Oh and my inr was still low at 1.7 last week. I go in on Wed to have it checked again.

16 Weeks Old

My hips hurt like the dickens. This scares me because before the ICU, I was saying my hips hurt a lot and then after I got intubated they found a bunch of clots in my pelvis. So I told this to the lady who was filling in for the blood dr today and she's sending me for an ultrasound of my pelvic region to rule out more blood clots. I had taken antibiotics for this sinus infection thing and so last week at my coagulation check my INR was low (too thick), but that should be all fixed now. We'll find out on Wed when I got in to get the INR checked again. Anyhow, my dr appt today was rather pointless since the actual dr wasn't there, the TTP blood work is not back yet, and I took both kids with me. They also both decided to poop within like a minute of walking into the waiting room. We were the stinky people sitting in the corner.

Last weekend, I threw a surprise party in Phoenix for Tony's mom, it was her 50th. It turned out to be really fun and I think everyone had a good time. Dang, she's a hard person to surprise though. Especially when you need to cook food for 20 people in her house but she won't leave! Hehe.

The girls seem to be over their colds now (fingers crossed), Tony's fine, and my nose will not stop running. Other that that and the hip thing, I'm good. Oh, pretty sure my hair's falling out again. Let's add insult to injury eh?

Oh, this is a big deal...Nola started laughing! It's so cute. She's trying to roll over too, I'll keep you posted about when that occurs. :)

15 Weeks Old

15 weeks old
on 2/14/11

Nola is 15 weeks old (or there abouts) and today was her first Valentine's day. I'm sad to say, we did nothing special except for the fact that I dressed the girls up and took pictures. Couldn't let the day go by without photos!

Nola is sick. She's got the cold that the rest of us have. Confirmed by the ped this morning and of course making me feel like I was wasting everyone's time by being paranoid, but whatever. She'll cough and cough for like 5 minutes straight and turn all red, it was concerning me. I also mentioned how she spits up EVERYTHING. I swear, she consumes maybe 10% of what she eats, it's ridiculous. So the ped gave us a sample of formula that has rice cereal stuff in it to see if it will stay down better. 3 feedings and 5 soaked bibs later, I'm gonna go with no, but I'll keep trying. Although, good news, when I was in the appt, I got a voicemail from my old OB saying that she got my note and she would call again until she actually got to talk to me. YAY!

I'm still sick with this cold thing, or whatever. I'd say it's more like sinus infection/bronchitis. I just finished my antibiotics today, so hopefully I'll stop snotting all over soon. Embry is also still sick, but not nearly as bad as before and she's about halfway done with her antibiotics for her ear infection. I got in to see the main hospital dr tomorrow and to give more blood for the hematologist (which hopefully the lab won't mess up this time). Then I need to sign forms to get all my medical records from st joe's hospital sometime too. I'm not complaining, but I am SO TIRED. I told Tony today that I needed to go to bed at 5:30. Now of course it's 9:30 and I'm still up, but you get the idea.

Oh funny story. So I can kinda pick embry up now, like to my waist height, but it's really difficult. So we went to a friend's bday party at a restaurant on Sat night. She was totally fine until I tried to leave. I had my purse, her backpack, and tony's burger in my arms. Then she decides to lay down in the middle of the walkway (inbetween the soda machine and the condiments), close her eyes, and say 'I go sleep now, ok?' I had to laugh. It was pretty hysterical. I got her to stand up a couple times only for her to get back on the floor and do the same thing over again. Then finally I picked her up and hauled her out the front door, no easy task, and scolded her. Needless to say, she went straight to bed when she got home.

Oh and Tony's surgery on Friday went very well. The most painful part seemed to be getting shot with the lidocaine air gun. And, bonus, I got to watch! Ok that sounds weird, but I love stuff like that, surgery that is, or medical procedures in general. Interesting stuff and oddly, Tony wouldn't let me take a picture of him with the drape over his lap. I can't for the life of me figure out why ;)

3 & 1/2 months Old

Nola is 3.5 months old now. I realized today that I need to have her 3 month pictures taken...cue the cha-ching sounds symbolizing dollar bills rolling out of my pocket. Buuut it's just not fair to have professional pics taken of Embry every 3 months and then not of Nola. I already feel guilty for not getting her weekly pictures done while I was in the hospital. I also can't find any pictures of me on life support, not a single one. I'm feeling a little disappointed tonight so this is probably not going to be a very uplifting post. I just got called home about 5 minutes after leaving for a girl's craft night because Embry was throwing up all over the place. She's been sick for a while with a cold, but then on Saturday I cancelled a playdate at Chick-fil-a and a trip to the zoo because she was running a fever. Later that day I took her with me to run some errands (first time taking her alone since the hospital) and she was fine until we got to Costco where she cried 'mommy mommy, I need go poo poo!' and then threw up all over me in the check out line. I also feel bad for my response which was to ask the cashier and cart person for some paper towels that I had just bought and they didn't respond so I yelled 'paper towels please! I just got thrown up all over!' which wasn't very nice but it seemed like if there ever was a time to yell, that would have been it. Then of course, I apologized about 300 times before leaving. Embry kept saying on the way to the car, 'I'm ok mommy, I'm ok' which was very cute, but overshadowed by the smell of vomit soaking through my shirt. On the way home I just kept thinking, at least I'm alive to smell it...

Then Sunday she seemed a lot better and didn't have a fever and hardly coughed at all so we took her along to a superbowl party. She did great there and acted like her normal self. Today she had a fever again and then got all riled up when I left tonight and like I said, threw up all over. Pretty sure she's just getting way too upset and coughing and then throwing up. At least I hope that's what it is because I've got some weird cold thing going on too and I really hope that vomiting does not come along with it. The nurse practitioner at the clinic wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic in case it turns into something more, we don't want to take any chances. I also got my blood pressure patch reduced again. One more reduction and it'll be gone, woohoo!

Nola still seems to be doing fine and hasn't caught anything yet, fingers crossed. She's smiling a bunch now and almost laughing. She's enjoying her swing more and wasn't liking her playmat very much this past week, but I think that might have been cuz it was off in the corner. I think she might have red hair, but Tony doesn't see it. We have red heads on both sides of the family so it's a possibility although it is a recessive gene.

Today was my first day at home alone with both kids, at least until my parents showed up at 11am. It went really well and I even got some stuff accomplished. That would be due to the fact that Nola was very well behaved and Embry was watching 'Dora' pretty much the whole time. She's obsessed. I mean you have to literally yell her name to get her to turn her head away from the tv when Dora is on. She's also learning lots of spanish, as in, the other day she comes up to me and counts to 10 in spanish on her fingers. It's ridiculous. I mean it's good, but I really don't like her watching that much tv. Then again, I used to watch (and still do) a LOT of tv and it's not like I'm a dummy or something so I guess it's not really that bad.

So, this whole hospital thing...it kinda feels like it never happened. I went through some of the bags that hadn't gotten unpacked a few days ago and I was sitting there holding the Christmas lights that were hanging in my room, thinking, 'geez, all that really did happen'. I just can't wrap my mind around it. I kinda feel like everyone expects me to be doing all the same stuff I did before I went to the hospital too. I'm sure it's nothing to do with anyone else and it's more just the way I perceive it, but that's probably part of the reason I don't feel like I was ever actually sick. Then I'll laugh and get a sharp pain in my side and remember, oh yes, something did happen to me.

I never got the results of the TTP test back. The lab messed up and said they never got the order (even though I handed it to them, they took my blood, then they called my dr to make sure they ran the right test). So the dr is getting it set up so I can go into his office, have my blood drawn, and have his people deliver it right to the place that runs the test. They're supposed to call me to schedule a time, but I haven't heard from them yet. The dr said he's not too concerned though since my other blood tests look good and I'm not feeling bad or anything. I made an appointment with a new primary care physician for this friday, so wish me luck that this one is better than the last one...not hard to be! Tony also goes in for his surgery that day, so I'm hoping all goes well with that and it's quick and painless like everyone says it's supposed to be. I'm sure he'll be fine, but he's normally the one that's always good and healthy around here so it'll be umm interesting to have roles reversed for a while.

We went to Phoenix last weekend which was a lot of fun. I was a little sad that I didn't get to go in the pool or hot tub since that was something I was REALLY looking forward to, but I opted to take a nap instead...aren't you proud of me?! I got to see some family that hadn't seen in quite a while and catch up a bit. It was really nice. We went out to dinner for Allison's birthday and we played games and watched 'Easy A' (one of my new favorite movies, thanks Kristy!) We ate at Culvers a lot (yum) and met Jamie there for lunch one day. I wish we could go up there more to hang out, but it's pretty much just going to be a weekend thing from here on out since Tony's vacation time is pretty much spent for the year. We'll be going up next weekend for Dorothea's birthday, but we can only stay one full day so it will be quite a short trip. :(

Progress

I'm slowly but surely getting back to 'normal' whatever that means. However I woke up this morning with what seems to be a head cold and I'm pretty scared that it could turn into something worse. I am NOT going back to the hospital!

So, for progress, I can now:

• go up and down the stairs, alternating feet like normal, without someone else's help
• get into the tub and bathe by myself, getting out I still need help
• take a shower alone
• get up from the toilet without assistance (this is a biggie and makes me so happy)
• walk without help or a walker or holding onto something
• DRIVE (this is fantastic and on the way home from being discharged from the hospital I was so scared thinking of how I was ever going to drive again. I've come a long way in 2 weeks and I'm so grateful to God for his amazing healing hand).
• Do my hair. Apparently I had a very bad ponytail while on life support, so now it's time to get back to looking cute, ha. Oh, ps, if you have any pics from the hospital (esp any of me on the ventilator) please email them to me. Thanks.
• Hold Nola and put her over my shoulder to burp, although not for an extended period of time
• Get up from pretty much any seat without help and without holding onto anything except my knees, YAY!!!

Nola is doing great! She slept entirely through the night on the 18th and has normally been only getting up once to be changed and eat and then going back to sleep. I am also sleeping better, so we're all a lot happier. She had her 2 month check up on the 18 with her new ped and she weighed 10lbs 15oz, was 23.5 inches long, and her head circumference was in the 5% at 37.5 cm around. Embry also had a check up and was 26 lbs, 33&3/4" tall, and her head circumference was 48 cm. Nola got 4 shots and a nasal drop thingy and she cried for a minute or so, then she took her bottle and all was well again. She did have some swelling at the injection sites later, but Tony gave her some tylenol and she was fine. Oddly, while we were there and I was filling out paperwork in the exam room, I overheard a nurse and the dr talking about how one of their patients was the step-son of Pam Golden (my amazing OB who basically saved my life on more than one occasion). So being the nosey person that I am, I piped up and said, 'oh Dr Pamela Golden? Is there any way I can get a hold of her?' and proceeded to explain what all went on and how she was the one who thought I might have a blood clot etc etc. They said I could write her a note and they'd try to get it passed along to her, so that's what I did. I really feel the need to thank her, it's not very often you find a dr like her and she needs to know how much it means to me that she actually cared.

Speaking of Drs...my pcp's nurse called me on Tuesday and said that she meant to call me earlier but their computers were down and she didn't have my #, but that Dr. Morris wanted to schedule a post-hospital appt with me. Ha. I said, 'well, I actually won't be seeing him anymore' and she just said 'ok, I'll let him know.' She seemed somewhat surprised, but I think she kinda caught the drift of what all went down and having kids herself I'm sure she wouldn't want them to receive the same kind of care that I did in that situation. I just don't want anyone else to get treated the way I did, get the brush off, and then end up on life support, or even worse, die. It's just not right.

Good news is that my insurance rocks and the bill for having Nola and the bill for this whole stint in the hospital were less than HALF of what I expected them to be. Another miracle I'm sure because God knows we could use some and he's definitely providing for us. :) I just pray that medicare doesn't go down the tubes with the health care bill cuz dang, I'd be up a river without a paddle. Then again, life's too short to worry, so yay for having good health care right now. Booyah.

My friend Kristy came to visit from WI last week and it was FANTASTIC! We used to do EVERYTHING together, we were pretty much inseparable and it was nice to feel so comfortable around someone. She's 5 mos pregnant and it wasn't an easy road to get there, so I was super excited to see and feel her baby belly and suggest that she name her baby boy Rourke just because I like it. :) We did some major shopping at the JBF sale, Target, Container Store, etc and she went through my maternity clothes (since I definitely won't be using them again) and picked out a few items. Needless to say, her suitcase was a little full upon her departure, but at least she got it zipped! We watched movies, went to MOPS, went to book club (she even read about 70% of the book with just a few days notice), went to Phoenix (to visit with Jamie), and went to girl's night. I'm so glad I'm able to get out more now because being cooped up at home is sooo not my thing!

Speaking of not using maternity clothes...we had the consult with the urologist and I think we've decided not to bank Tony's sperm before hand. We figure if there's a 97% success rate for the vasectomy reversal, then if someday he falls into the 3% it doesn't work on, he's just not meant to have any more biological children. As far as us having more kids, we haven't ruled it out. I've always pictured myself as a mom of 3 girls and Tony wants more kids (a boy in particular, but just more than 2 in general), so we're still throwing around the idea of adoption. We've always felt called to adopt (Tony's mom was adopted and I've wanted to since before I was married), but with the recent health issues I'm not even sure if it's an option anymore, even as foster/adopt. Either way, it wouldn't become a 'real' thing for quite a while so I'll keep you updated as we investigate further. I love babies and I LOVE being pregnant, so I'm kinda hurt that I never will be again. It's very trivial, but it still kinda stings.

The formula feeding is going really well. Nola doesn't seem to be having any issues with it and besides one small episode of leakage, things on my end are holding up rather well. I'm not so worried about mastitis anymore and I feel fine in that area, so yay.

The dr said to watch for any hardening under the skin in the 2 areas where I had the pic lines (my groin and my right bicep). Well, I found a very small hard lump right at the incision site to my groin pic line, but of course it was over the weekend, so I'll be calling them tomorrow morning to ask them about it. The arm one seems to be healing up rather well, but I doubt the bruising will go away for a while since I'm on blood thinners, but whatev. Till then I'll just look like I've been beaten and am addicted to nicotine because of this lovely blood pressure patch, good times.

I pretty much stopped doing the breathing treatments and I haven't gotten the results of the latest chest x-ray back yet. I go in to see the main dr on Wed so I'll know then what it showed. The x-ray lab actually gave me a dvd of the images, but I can't for the life of me get it to run on my computer. :/ It actually made my heart jump when the x-ray technician told me I had to strip down and put on a hospital gown for the visit...hospital gown, no thank you, I've had enough of those to last me a lifetime. So of course, I took a picture.

News

Well, I guess I should say something about Gabby Giffords. Being pretty involved in campus politics at the U of A, I was kinda 'in the know' about stuff. She always seemed like a nice person, never did meet her, but did a paper on how she was the youngest person elected to congress. Oh right, I remember, that was for the legislative internship I applied for in Phoenix. So basically I researched her since district 8 was our district. Obviously this whole thing is just tragic and shocking. I'm praying for her full recovery, God works miracles and he's been in the business of doing some great ones lately, I know he can work through Gabby too. About the shooter, who knows if he even went to the U of A, but I seriously pray he was not part of college republicans. Politically this is gonna have a lot of fallout and I'm sure those of us who are 'normal' (ie not extreme) will get lumped in. We need to remember to pray for those who become victims in this situation in other ways besides physically. May God be with all of them to comfort and guide.

Now then, moving on... guess what? I got my present for the next Mother's day, Valentine's day, Birthday, Christmas, Sweetest Day, recovery, being well again, welcome home, etc etc etc. And it is .... this camera. It is my DREAM video camera. I am so excited! Oh, our regular one (that I got in high school) totally conked out before Christmas. It'll only work when it's plugged in. We've been using the small digital camera to take short videos in the meantime. I hope I can figure out how to work it. Plus for Christmas I got an extended life battery and piggyback battery along with some chargers that coincide with this camera.

Healthcare

This is obviously of utmost importance to me and I thought it might be important to some of you as well:
Health care Bill Repeal
House of reps is supposed to vote on Wed.

Much Needed Update

Nola: we got her into the new ped's office earlier this week. Doro took both girls. They said she has excess mucus in the back of her nose/throat area and we can use saline and suction a couple times a day to get gunk out. It's normal. Didn't ask about the bump, but it doesn't seem to bother her so I'm going to say it's ok for now. We have an appt for both girls on jan 18 so we'll find out more then. And, Nola was 11 lbs.

Confusion: Got the meds figured out. Think the prednisone (steroid) taper is too fast. Have Rheum (lupus dr) appt on monday with the last guy I saw (who said come back when you're not pregnant). The main dr has been talking with this rheum about my situation already so she wants me to see him again even though the referral for the one I wanted to see actually came through. I'll talk to him about the taper on Monday.

The in home nurse came and the PT guy. Nurse will be back tues and PT is scheduled for 2 times a week for 8 weeks but can be changed based on progress. I have appts with the main dr for next week as well as a counselor through my insurance for me to just talk through things.

My back has been hurting. Some is the same as what I went into the hospital with and when I take a deep breath (which I can tell I have diminished lung capacity) I can feel some like zinging around the whole area of the main lung clot. I was told in the hospital that all the clots had dissipated, but I'm wondering if that's true or if there's residual damage in that area or something. I will as the main dr for a chest xray next week.

I fell this morning trying to leave for the dr. Basically my legs just gave out. Everything was fine, but I didn't realize that could happen. Oh and I've decided not to try the stairs again until the new railing is up. We have delegated the buying to our good friends and we're so thankful for the help.

Getting organized on having help here (or having the girls somewhere else) is going well but is a lot of work. I know people want to help it's just a matter of logistics. Issue I'm having is tues-fri 17-21. I want to give people as much notice as possible, but Doro won't know if she can do those days until Thurs (the 13th) and I don't want to suddenly cancel everyone.

I've decided to take this one step at a time (aren't I punny?). If I look at it as a whole, it's just too much. One thing at a time and it will get done. Oh and I got the checkbook figured out and all the mail gone through.

One thing I have to think about is my pcp and the first er dr who sent me home without xrays etc and if we should seek retribution regarding this whole thing. I love law in itself, but the idea of a lawsuit scares the crud out of me. Please pray for direction on this matter.

Ok that's all for now. Time for me to try and get some more shut eye.

Well, Here it Comes

I think I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. What the heck is going on? I feel like the only thing I should think for the rest of my life is 'look at me, I'm alive! Here I am, I'm alive!' yet here I sit at 3:30 in the morning, not gotten a wink of sleep, worrying. When getting discharged today I was barraged with about 40 papers listing medications, notes for other dr's to fill them in, instructions, but like half of what I need is missing. I feel like I was given way too much information at one time to process yet not all the pieces are there. We filled the prescription which was about 10 diff things, yet none of them were a blood thinner. The orders said not to fill the one blood thinner and in my mind, I was on more than one, so where are the rest? I called the insurance company, luckily got through to the dr after hours and she got a blood thinner filled. I was given a huge batch of meds this morning, I don't know which ones, yet I'm still supposed to take all these meds tonight before bed? Aren't I duplicating meds, especially the steroids which are very sensitive to dosage. How come nobody went over all this with me? Then I lay here wondering, how is my body going to process these 15 pills I just took? All at the same time? Shouldn't they be spread out? What if I actually do go to sleep, will I wake up? The last thing I want is to go back to the hospital, but shouldn't someone be monitoring this more closely? I went from getting my vitals checked 6 times a day to getting them checked, oh right, not at all. Then on top of it all, they restarted some of my old meds and none of those were in the prescriptions either...so am I supposed to take those or not?

Every single muscle in my body aches. I feel like I ran a 10k. I can't even move my arm to pet the cat without pain. Still, I have to use what seems like all of my body strength in order to get up to go to the bathroom. Everything is sore. EVERYTHING.

Nola has a bump on the back of her head, like a squishy nodule. She also is constantly snorting and like gasping for breath. Something is not right. I called a new ped and set up and appt for her and embry to be seen but the earliest date was the 18. Should I call and see if they can see her sooner? Do I go along even though it's going to be incredibly difficult? But I need that information. I need to know what's going on with my baby.

I have no clue, absolutely none, as to what is going on with Tony. I feel like such a burden. We need to go to counseling. On top of this, I had a talk with the dr before leaving in which she said basically there is no way I should ever be pregnant again. I guess I knew this. I however can't take any hormones or get any surgeries which means that it will be up to Tony. He's only 25. This seems too young to do something so drastic, so final. I mean, what happens to him if something were to happen to me and he'd want more kids down the road?

There are a million things to get done. Bills sitting there waiting to be opened, probably already past due. It's like a never ending list of dr's to see. I have no idea who I'm supposed to call and when and then when I'm supposed to see them and why.

This whole thing is hitting me all at once. Up until now, I kinda felt like it all happened to someone else. Now I realize that I'm the one hobbling around. I'm the one laying here watching the seconds tick by for 5 straight hours waiting to rest. I'm the one that is missing 2 weeks of their life. What happened? I want answers. I kind of know the medical side, but what about the emotional side? What did people think? Where were there minds and hearts? I know none of this. How is this going to work? How is anything going to get done? How will I make it down the stairs in the morning? Who's going to put all this junk away? Will I ever fully recover? The dr gave me a lecture about how the normal heart runs at about 65-70% and mine's about 45%. What does this mean? I thought, 'oh good, it'll be like a month and I'll be back in the swing of things.' Is that even remotely realistic?

I just don't know what to think. It's all so overwhelming. I am happy to be alive, but my gosh, what is going on?

All the Praise goes to God

oh goodness, where do I even begin? I'm sure most of you already know most of this story from updates on facebook and through email, but I feel I need to document whatever I can, which actually isn't much more than hearsay.

Basically, I guess you could say, I almost died. From my last post, you know I was in the hospital with a blood clot and fluid in my lungs. Well, I actually only remember about 3 days of that (dec 16-18) and then waking up in the ICU getting a bone marrow biopsy with a breathing and feeding tube keeping me alive (which I believe was about dec 28).

I guess that everything hit the fan on dec 20. My parents came up to the hospital to see me and it's a good thing they arrived when they did. My mom walked in with a little christmas tree and apparently I was trying to find the nurse button, completely soaked, eyes rolling back in my head, turning blue, couldn't breath, so she threw the tree on the floor ran in the hall yelling for help and about 20 drs poured into the room and shoved them out and called a code blue. They intubated me, did a ct scan that showed a 'huge' blood clot that had traveled to my heart and was keeping it from actually pumping. The drs told my parents and tony that they could use a really dangerous drug to try and break up the clot which would probably cause other internal bleeding or basically my heart wouldn't be able to pump. Then apparently I stabilized enough to not need the drug. They moved me to ICU on life supports and found blood clots in my legs, pelvis, lungs, and heart...also pneumonia and fluid around my kidneys/liver. My bp was sky high (210's/120's) and my platelet count was extremely low (30's and spos to be in the 200's) even with multiple platelet transfusions.

Eventually I guess I started to stabilize enough for them to start lowering the sedation. This is when I started waking up. It took a few days of me being 'awake' to get the breathing/feeding tube out. Being awake with that in was extremely horrible and I couldn't talk to ask any questions of what happened, so I just kinda had to wonder what was going on. I kept gagging on the tube and blowin chunks because of it, it was really horrible. When I woke up, I had no idea where I was, or what happened, it was like 2 weeks of my life was just missing. I do remember a few things while under sedation, it's very surreal. One really good 'memory' was swirling around in a shopping cart at Target with my brother getting after Christmas sales and a very bad 'memory' was going to a group home hospital setting where I was in a wheelchair, doing a bell craft and then people started fighting outside and I couldn't reach the phone to call tony no matter how hard I tried. I was aware of there being the possibility of seeing a white light and I was determined that if I did see something of that sort that I was going the opposite direction. I somehow knew my time on earth wasn't up yet. These 2 'memories' seem so real I would swear they actually happened and they were the first 2 questions I asked tony once I got the feeding/breathing tube out.

Apparently a lot of people came by while I was in icu and I don't remember one bit of it and for that I am very sorry. I feel so horrible that I can't remember all of the love and prayers that poured over me during that time. I also feel extremely overwhelmed with all the help and just giving and caring that people have done for me, my family, my husband, and the girls while all this has been going down. I mean, there's no possible way I could ever express my thankfulness, it would literally be impossible.

As of today, the news is that God has restored me completely. The dr's said there was no way my heart could ever repair itself and it is 'back to normal'. My lungs are 'back to normal'. All clots are completely gone. All fluid in my lungs is completely gone. All of my blood counts are in normal range and my body is completely restored. The dr's are basically baffled. They're saying it was a lupus flare and really have no idea why any of it happened or how it has been completely fixed. God is so amazing, I can't ever begin to explain the amazement that fills my heart through this whole experience. I'm just in awe. I'm so thankful to be alive and vow to not waste one second ever, ever again. Life is just too precious.

The main thing now is doing rehab and getting strength back. My legs look pretty funny. Where there would normally be my pretty large calf muscle (I'm no spring chicken) there is a skinny, flimsy, jello like piece of flab. So, I'm now able to stand and walk with a walker, but still need some assistance actually standing up. Seems like this is going to take a lot of work and humility, but I sure am motivated to get home to my kids and resume living. Life is just too short to be hanging out in a hospital bed waiting around to move. Let's do this!

In the Hospital

So last night I was pretty sick, puking and whatnot and of course I had a fever the entire time which would not go away. So once the dr's office opened, I called them and told them about my fevers and new sickness. The nurse called me back and said that the dr wanted me to go to the ER because I might be bleeding in my GI tract. Well, I asked what he said about the fevers and the nurse said he didn't even mention them so I told her to ask him. She called me back while Tony was driving me to the ER (my favorite place on earth) and said the dr said they'd evaluate my fever in the ER. Wow, he's really helpful.

Once at the ER they took me in right away and the dr was nice and helpful. She ran blood tests, a urinalysis, and did a chest xray. Basically my blood count has dropped since I had Nola, so that leads them to believe I am bleeding internally somewhere. It could be around the lung, but they can't tell that yet because it's in a bunch of fluid and collapsed. It could also be somewhere in my GI tract, but they don't want to put me under anesthesia while I'm having trouble breathing to begin with in order to do the tests to find GI bleeding.

They admitted me and told me I'd be here at least a couple of days (sat is the soonest I could go home). I talked to a pulmenologist and the GI guy. The lung guy is giving me some vitamin K supplements to get my blood level up so they can suck the fluid off of my lung in the morning. Then the lung should re-inflate pretty instantaneously. He thinks I have an infarction which means the blood clot got lodged in a vessel which caused a bit of the lung to die which was irritating and caused all the fluid to build up and collapse the lung. He said this would cause my fevers if it was the case. He also said once the fluid is gone (which he said was a LOT whereas my dr said it was hardly any) I will start feeling better almost right away. :) I don't want to get my hopes up, but yay! Also once the lung is inflated then I'll start hacking up whatever was stuck in there and they'll be able to tell from that if it was actually infected (pneumonia) or not.

Then while my lung is ok and I'm off the blood thinners, the GI guy wants to do some endo-something where they put me under and run a camera down into my stomach to check things out.

So that's what's on the agenda for today. Hopefully nothing will hurt too bad and we'll get some answers. Thanks for your prayers.

Nola is 7 Weeks old

7 Weeks Old

Taken 12/14/10


The girls with Santa on 12/13/10,
Embry wasn't very happy about it.

Well, we figured out what's wrong with me, my OB was right and deserves an award for best Dr ever because she actually gives a rip. After I left my 6 week ob appt and had told her my symptoms, she calls me right away and says that it is very unlikely but it might be a blood clot in my lung and I should have my primary dr look into it. So I called the dr and told him what she said and he replied that my symptoms did not indicate a blood clot whatsoever, but he'd send me in for a blood test which if was negative then it was unlikely I had one and if it was positive, it was probably a false positive. I had the blood test done on Thursday I believe. Yesterday the dr's office called and said it was positive and if I had any significant shortness of breath (which I'd been having for like a week already) that I should go to the ER (where of course they will do absolutely nothing). So they scheduled me for a contrast dye CT scan for 12:30 yesterday. Once it was done I was laying there and I could hear the tech whispering and then leaving and coming back in a bunch, so I figured something was up. Then he came over finally and said that their dr was on the phone with my dr discussing the results and he wanted to talk to me before I left. Then the dr came in and said that my dr would be calling me within the hour to discuss the treatment and I was like 'treatment for what? Or can you not tell me anything either?' (Because when I was talking to the tech before the test I asked if he could tell me anything afterwards and he said no). So the dr goes, 'well your right lung has a blood clot in the lower right quadrant, it has some fluid in it, and it's partially collapsed. Your doctor is going to prescribe some medications and call you with further instructions.' Then the tech made me a copy of the scan on a cd, which I just looked at, and woah, like half of my right lung is completely collapsed...no wonder I can't breath.

The dr wasn't in the office, so I talked to the nurse. The dr prescribed an oral blood thinner and a twice daily injectable blood thinner. I asked the nurse how I was spos to know how to give myself shots, so I waited for the script to get filled then took it to the dr office where the nurse injected me. Holy cow, that hurt. I was like, 'I thought they weren't spos to hurt in your stomach?!' and she said things like insulin don't but since this drug is thick, it hurts like the dickens. Great, and I'm spos to do this to myself twice a day for 10 days?

I went in to see the actual dr this morning and I made it pretty clear that I was really ticked at him. He started out saying that he was so surprised since my symptoms didn't indicate a pulmonary embolism. So I said, 'well I didn't tell you all my symptoms of shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat etc because the second time I came in here for my back pain you guys called me beforehand and asked if my pain had changed at all because if it hadn't then I didn't need to come in again. Implying that I would just come in here for the heck of it. I wouldn't come in unless there was something really wrong so there was no way I was going to call you when my symptoms started changing again.' He didn't really have anything to say about that. I also told him that I had called and talked to the nurse when I was in so much pain and crying on the phone and she told me if it was so bad, I should just go to the ER and I told him what a disaster that was. I asked if I could take percocet with these meds because I can't sleep unless I take it since I can't sleep on either side or toss at all, all my joints are in pain, and he goes, 'where'd you get percocet?' Like I'm buying it on the black market or something. I told him I had some left over from having Nola, some left over from my root canal, and that the oh-so-helpful ER dr gave me a prescription for some too. He wrote me out a prescription for more and since I can't take NSAIDS (like naproxen or ibuprofen for joint pain) while on blood thinners, he told me not to exceed 4000 mgs of tylenol per day (since percocet also has acetaminophen in it). This brought up the fact that I've had fevers over 102 everyday for at least the past week. I asked if this could cause fevers and he said only really low grade fevers so if mine persist, then I should come back in. Um, right, I can tell you're really concerned.

He acted like I might be on the oral blood thinner for a long time, but he's sending me to a hematologist to test me for blood clotting disorders. He said the hematologist would go over the risks of stopping the oral meds in order to run the tests, like if I'm off the meds then I'll suddenly develop more clots. Oh and the meds don't help the current clot to dissolve, supposedly it will do that on it's own, the fluid will be reabsorbed, and the lung will re-inflate. The meds are just so I don't produce anymore clots.

Oooh we also had a nice convo where my mom says, 'how is she supposed to take care of 2 kids like this?' and he goes 'you should be able to take care of them just fine.' So I say, 'umm for 3 weeks I've been telling you how much pain I'm in and now I can barely breath on top of it, it's a little hard to take care of my kids.' I mean really, is he even listening at all?! I get my blood retested on Fri to see if I can stop the injections, then again on Monday. I'm really hoping I can stop them sooner than 10 days.

Oh, Nola's face/chest/back all have that rash which I thought was baby acne. Apparently it's something dermatitis which is a type of eczema and we're supposed to put Eucerin cream on it every night and it should get better.

So in other events, I took the girls to the mom's group Christmas party with the help of my mom. Luckily we were in the first group to see Santa cuz I really wasn't feeling too well and we left right after that. Embry was very excited to see santa while waiting in line, but once she got up to him, she put on her 'sad face' and tried to get away. Nola was perfectly content probably cuz she didn't know what was going on. I got a picture and that's all I cared about, so whatever.

Nola is 6 Weeks Old!

6 Weeks Old

Yep, I'm late, I know. Although this time it's not due to laziness, it's because I've been sick. Went in for the HIDA scan yesterday which was ok except it took 4 hours instead of 2 hours because they needed to prove that I wasn't pregnant. I told them there was no way I could be seeing as I just had my 6 week OB appt on Monday, but they needed a blood test. The lab took forever to process it. Then it took quite a while to find a vein for the IV since I had been fasting they were all collapsed. They had me lay flat on my back on this hard plastic thing for the 1.5 hour test and it was excruciatingly painful. Plus, I was freezing and when I finally got home my fever was 102.4. I've been getting fevers like that everyday for the past week. This morning I called my mom around 7 to see if she could come over to help me since I was feeling so horrible and I ended up puking and taking quite a few percocet to make it through the day. The problem with taking percocet when I don't have anyone here to help me is that it makes me so tired I have to go to bed. So I spent half the day sleeping and half the day sitting downstairs feeding Nola and pumping. Oh, bonus is that I have to pump and dump until Saturday because of the radiation they put in my IV for the HIDA scan. I just want to know what's wrong with me and get it fixed. I'm very scared that they're just going to say something like, 'oh it's arthritis, you just have to deal with it.' I can't possibly imagine living the rest of my life like this.

So, onto Nola. She's doing good. She's not fighting about taking the bottle or drinking formula which is a relief since we have no other options for a few days. She has developed quite the case of baby acne, but it probably didn't help that we didn't bathe her for like 2 weeks since I can't do it by myself with 2 kids while I'm sick. She seems more interested in her bouncer and her swing and particularly likes the vibrating feature on the bouncer, but then it broke. We replaced it with one from craigslist for $15.

Nola is 5 Weeks Old!

5 Weeks old
Taken 12/1/10

Oy, this week has been one for the books. There is something wrong with me. First it was just my back, then it was only the right side of my back and right shoulder with something weird going all spazzy when I ate. Then since I could only sleep on my left side, that whole side ended up getting very sore from arthritis. The dr sent me in for an ultrasound of my gallbladder which looked totally normal and now is trying to get me in for a HIDA scan which checks the functionality of the gallbladder instead of just looking for stones and infection. Problem is, we have to wait for the insurance to authorize it and in the meantime, I'm in pain. Lots of pain. I've tried ice, I've tried heat, I've tried stretching, I've tried massage...anything is just a temporary fix, if a fix at all. Yesterday out of desperation, I went to the ER. The dr there pretty much sucked. He said he didn't think it was my gallbladder so he wouldn't do the HIDA scan and he thought it was muscular. Basically they did blood work and a urinalysis (which just showed my potassium and sodium are low) and sent me home. It was rather infuriating.

I can't believe Nola is over a month old already. I swear, I feel like I just got home from the hospital with her. Nola seems to be sleeping slightly better and we're trying out a new plan. Tony gets up with her once during the night to feed her formula because I'm thinking she might sleep longer that way. Last night was the first night trying it out and it went fine, so we'll see if my plan has any merit. Either way, I'll be getting more sleep because I'll be skipping a feeding during the night and that alone is a huge blessing. Weird thing is that since having Nola, Embry has been waking up screaming at night, like she's having a nightmare. She probably gets that from me because I have nightmares all the time...poor thing.

The first month or so that Nola was home, she was pretty easy going. She hardly ever cried and just kinda whimpered when she needed something. I thought maybe she'd be the laid-back baby that Embry wasn't...I was wrong. She's started crying a TON over the last week or so. It seems that the only way to keep her calm (and sometimes that doesn't even work) is to either feed her or hold her. Oh, but a good thing is that she enjoys riding in the car most of the time. So the crying thing has not helped my daytime sleeping ability. Today was the first time in a week that I've gotten a nap, and boy was it heavenly!

Ha, I almost forgot, Nola had her first Thanksgiving! It was lots of fun besides the fact that I was upstairs half the time trying to fix my back. Anyhow, Tony's mom, Allison, Alex, and his dad came over as well as my parents, Donny, Oasis, and Maisie. The food was delicious (thanks to Tony, his mom, and my mom...cuz all I made was the monkey bread) and we got some really cute pictures of the family outside. I also got a picture that I have envisioned for a while...our girls with both sets of grandparents! :) Then that night Tony's mom, Allison, and I went over to our friend's house to play games which was hysterically fun, I love games and friends. The day after Thanksgiving Allison and I went to do a bit of shopping and then Saturday Allison got the flu that Embry had and so did my mom. Then Donny and Oasis also got it as well as tony's mom. Apparently it's a very strong strain. Saturday before Tony's family left we took the girls with Alex and Doro to the desert museum which was really fun and I can't wait to go back!

Nola is 4 Weeks Old!

4 weeks old
on 11/23/10

It was a big hassle to get retested in the carseat on 11/18 (her due date). I had an appt to come into the hospital on the 18th at noon and after my mom came in and all 4 of us went to the hospital, they said they had no idea what I was talking about. The lady who was down at the newborn checkup with me (which we had 2 days after we left the hospital) said she vaguely might have remembered something about the fact that we talked to someone from the nursery who said we should come back on her due date. So, she said she'd get someone to do the test for me (mind you this is already 1.5 hours past our appt time) and then all the nurses were busy with deliveries or feeding babies. We finally started the carseat test at 2:30 and realized that the Graco carseat straps wouldn't tighten enough to be safe for travel. She said they could still do the test in that seat but I wouldn't be able to take her home in that one. So I took my mom and Embry home (cuz it was way past her naptime) and picked up the chicco carseat to take back to the hospital. The carseat test was over by the time I got back and she had passed! Woohoo! They had also weighed her and she was up to 7lbs 3oz already! I said it must be all of the halloween candy I've been eating while nursing at night trying to stay awake. ;) I gave them the carbed back and said good riddance and finally left to run errands.

Other news is that Embry has the stomach flu, again. She started throwing up at 11pm last night (of course I was up feeding Nola, because when am I not?) and so I heard her whining on the monitor and sent Tony to see what was going on. I set up the guest bedroom for them and had him sleep in there with her for the rest of the night. She threw up about 8 times over the course of 12 hours and we thought she was over it for a while because she had a cracker and some bread and kept it down for a few hours, but then it reappeared around lunchtime. She took a long nap (like 3 hours) and seems to be doing better now, but we'll just have to wait and see. Tony stayed home with her today while Nola and I stayed in our bedroom all day to avoid getting sick. I'm not sure what this says about us hosting Thanksgiving on Thursday because I'm guessing even if she is all over it, she's probably still contagious for a while. Hmmmm.

I was thinking that Nola was doing really well sleeping at night, then it backfired on me. She went for about a week doing 3-5 hour stretches between eating and then a few days ago she started eating every 2 hours again. This is ridiculous! She eats for an hour at time, so I'll be up for an hour doing that, then sleep for an hour and then she's up again to eat. Really, is someone supposed to be able to survive on one hour stretches of sleep?! I think not.

Sunday morning I had some insanely bad back pain. It started in my spine near my bra line and radiated around to the front of my ribs. I took some percocet and it got better. I went to the dr yesterday and he said it seemed muscular, which really doesn't sound right to me, and is sending me to physical therapy. That means a lot of hassle and if they just tell me to do stretches for an hour while I'm there and I go to all the work of finding someone to watch the kids etc, then I'm just going to tell them to forget it. I can stretch at home, thanks.

Nola is 3 Weeks Old!

3 Weeks Old

Taken on 11/16/10

So this week has been a bit interesting.

Embry's birthday was Sunday so we had her open her presents from us and then Tony and I took her to lakeside park and to see 'Despicable Me' while my mom watched Nola. We thought it would be nice to spend some time with her alone since Nola's been getting a lot of attention since she came along (obviously). The park was lots of fun. We had a picnic and played with Embry on the playground. Then went down to feed the ducks, which she loved! We left and went to the cheap theater to see the movie. Embry was pretty good until the last 1/2 hour. Then I let her out of her stroller and she would not sit in either of our laps or in a regular seat, so I went to the back of the theater with her and let her go up and down the steps where nobody was sitting for about 20 min. During this time a teenage boy and his fam (mom, dad, and sis) quickly gathered all their stuff and left the theater while reeking of puke, come to find out, the boy had thrown up all over the floor and seat where he was sitting. Anyhow, then Embry was just non-compliant and needed her diaper changed so I took her out of the theater and to the bathroom.

This was when my headache started getting really bad. I had a slight headache for a couple days but thought nothing of it since that's normal for me. So when we got home I pumped and that was weird because the one boob that normal gives the most milk hardly gave any and it kinda hurt. I figured it was just extra full from not being home to feed nola, maybe clogged or something. So then I went upstairs to take a nap. Over the next couple hours my fever went from about 99 to 104.3 and I was sweating, shivering, ached all over, and my boob was hurting like no other. I told Tony I thought maybe it was Mastitis and he looked up the symptoms and how to help it and it seemed like it all matched. Then I called my OB and told her what was going on and luckily she didn't make me go to the hospital cuz I'm pretty sure I couldn't have made it down to the car without being carried. After figuring out that our walgreens, frys, and safeway pharmacies all closed before 6pm on Sunday she called in a prescription for an antibiotic to a Walgreens further away.

This posed another problem since Tony can't take both kids in the car with him alone since someone is supposed to be watching Nola in the carbed. So he reluctantly left her upstairs in bed with me and took Embry to pick up my prescription and a heating pad. It all worked out ok and luckily Nola wasn't fussy when she was with me alone. I took a bunch of tylenol, naproxen, ibuprofen etc to get my fever down and it started going down slowly overnight so it was only slightly elevated the next morning. My mom came in to help watch the kids yesterday when Tony was at work which was a lifesaver and then I was alone with them today. I'm feeling better now, but not 'good' so it's a bit trying to deal with both of them at one time.

Today went all right. Nothing really majorly horrible happened, but I swear, Embry could outlast the energizer bunny any day of the week! She just never stops, NEVER. Although I decided to take my nap downstairs (where Nola was finally asleep in the pack n play rather than moving her upstairs to her crib) and I got to sleep for about 2 hours until some guy knocked really loudly on the door and rang the doorbell. This woke me up, woke Nola up, and Embry was either already awake or woke up because then she kept yelling for me to let her out of her room. I never answer the door when I'm home alone unless I already know who's coming so all that was for nothing anyway because I didn't answer the door.

Nola's due date is this coming Thursday. I bet she's about 6&1/2 lbs now, but maybe they'll be kind enough to weigh her at the hospital when we're there on thursday. Her 2nd carseat test is at noon on Thurs. Can't wait. I'll be really glad to get her out of that stupid carbed, but there is the possibility that she won't pass the test again and then I'll be very disheartened.

Added to all this is the fact that Embry has decided to be potty trained right now. Starting when Tony's mom was here after Nola came home she slowly began to use the potty. As of now she's going pee-pee in it about 3-5 times a day and she's gone poo-poo in it once of her own accord and once when I quick threw her on when she was kinda already going. She's making quite a bit of progress and not needing much prompting to do so. I'm very happy for this, but the timing could have been a bit better (like before I had a newborn to look after as well), oh well.

Nola is ok at night time. She tends to wake up when I put her down in the pack n play after feeding her. Usually once a night I'll stand there and rock her until she is sleeping, put her down, and then tip toe back into bed praying she won't wake up. Tony was having us get up every 3 hours to feed her (since she's preterm) but we've been sleeping through those alarms lately. Even though I haven't been getting much sleep, I still don't feel quite as, um, off kilter as I did with Embry at this point. I guess having a toddler to take care of actually keeps you slightly sane?!

Nola is 2 Weeks Old!

2 weeks old
on 11/9/10

Tony's mom left yesterday morning. Tony went back to work this morning. My mom came over at 7:30 am to watch Embry while I got to sleep in, which was very nice. She'll be back tomorrow morning for the same thing except she's bringing my dad along too. I don't think I'd be nearly as tired if Nola would just eat and be done with it, but it seems like it takes her an hour for each feeding. That means I'm up for an hour every 3 hours, meaning I only get 2 hours of sleep at a time. I'm tired.

Embry is really testing us. It's driving me insane. My mom and I took the girls to get pictures taken at Target today and Embry was less than cooperative until I bribed her with the promise of candy. Then once my mom left after Tony got home, Embry tried to do everything possible that would be 'bad' and I think her sole purpose was to send me to the insane asylum. She's cute, but dang, she's strong willed.

I'd like to go to bed at a reasonable hour, but I can't just leave the house in a state of disarray and actually get to sleep at night. So, up I stay, putting things away, doing little things that need to get done. Not to mention the entire list of things that I had to do before I had Nola, well...those things still need to get done. Oh and add in, thank you cards for my birthday, for the baby shower, and for Embry's birthday, plus Christmas cards and baby announcements. Tony's mom helped with the announcements while she was down, so those are actually mostly assembled and just need to be addressed/stamped/etc.

Embry's 2nd birthday party was on Sunday. It was lots of fun! I feel like when I host something, I never actually get to talk to people as much as I would like, oh well. Embry actually behaved rather well during the whole thing which was very impressive considering she declined to take a nap that day. The Elmo jumping castle/slide combo was a big hit and Embry played on it till the very moment they had to take it away. Only problem was that the little kids (and myself) had a very hard time getting up the rope/ladder to go down the slide. Basically an adult would end up pushing a kid up over the top instead of having them try to climb up, it worked out ok. I'm pretty sure I over-did it a bit though, feeling better now, but I think bouncing is not recommended for someone who had a baby 1.5 weeks earlier. Yes, now you can all say, 'I told you so.'