So why won't this fat go away? I oscillate between being disgusted with myself and thinking that it's ok to just be ok with the way I look and go on living. Sometimes I see my reflection and think, 'I don't look that bad.' and other times I'll see a picture of myself and think, 'holy cow, who is that huge fatty?!'
I started taking Cymbalta to help with anxiety and joint pain, but it also has the side effect of weight loss due to lack of appetite. However, I've been on it a week and still not losing any appetite. Especially when I work out, I get sooo hungry! You know that feeling you get in the back of your throat when you're just starving...that's what happens when I work out. It's hard to push that feeling out of your mind, let me tell ya! I know what it feels like to have no appetite because that's exactly what happened after I came off the feeding tube and people kept pushing me and pushing me to eat more even though that's the last thing I wanted to do. I think that might be where this all started because eating more combined with my thyroid going whacky would send my body into a metabolic tailspin right into fat-land.
Moving on...Nola is saying words in context now. Like she knows what some things are without even seeing them and she can name them. Like, she knows her milk is in the fridge and she'll say 'thank you' without being prompted. She's growing up, but she's still my little tiny baby girl. I had a HORRIBLE experience with her the other day when they had free kids meals at Chilis. I took both the girls out to lunch by myself and we sat down and Nola just flipped out. Like serious screaming, kicking, throwing herself on the floor meltdown. I tried everything: snacks, milk, crayons, toys, blanket...she just kept screaming. So I told Embry to not move and I rushed Nola into the bathroom where she continued the tantrum for a good 5 minutes before I whisked her and Embry out of the restaurant. The waitress took pity on me and didn't charge me for our food since we had only gotten our drinks so far. Once we got to the car, she was absolutely fine...I however was crying from exhaustion and embarrassment. Ugh!
Embry spent 3 hours a day for 5 days at church for a 'Sky' themed vacation bible school a week ago. She LOVED it! Each age level learned 2 songs from a children's cd and performed in on stage that Friday night. She's had me play those 2 songs over and over and over again every time we're in the car since then. It's a little repetitive, but still cute to hear her little voice singing along with big hand motions and everything.
|She insisted she wear all her headbands to VBS one day|
|At the Friday night program|
|Nola really enjoyed the umbrella|
|The performance, Embry is the second from the right|
|Nola going to see Pancake Pig.|
|Embry in the obstacle course at VBS|
|Embry and her friend Ava in the train.|
|My section of the mom to mom sale|
|most of the mom to mom room|
We finally completed our lastfundraising effort of the summer for MOPS...The Community Fair! It was a huge success, much more than we had anticipated and we had about 1500 people come through. We ended up with over 100 vendors which spilled into our outdoor space and about 20 sellers for the mom to mom portion (which is what I was in charge of). It was a LOT of work and now we have to write out a bunch of thank you notes for all of the donations we received and sponsors and vendors. I talked to the woman who headed it up this morning and she said she already had vendors and patrons contact her about when next year's fair is going to be because they want to make sure to be included. I'd say that's a good sign for future success. :)