Baby Bean is...

ALIVE!

and

A GIRL!

So last night was interesting to say the least.

Side note: this is probably going to be pretty graphic, so reader beware.

It started out fine. Went to bed around 10pm and then woke up around 1am to roll over and felt that I was very wet. Immediately I thought 'oh no!' and check down there with my hand and didn't see any blood, so I wasn't really sure what was going on. I thought maybe I had peed myself. Went to the bathroom and saw that bright red blood had soaked through my underwear and pajama bottoms. So I went and woke up Tony, luckily he woke up right away, and told him I was bleeding while I took off my bottoms and then felt more and said 'um, I guess it's still coming.' I sat on the toilet and a bunch more blood came out. It was quite scary and I was almost sure that Baby Bean was in desperate trouble.

Then when I stood up, I saw something white and squishy looking in the toilet water. Tony grabbed me a fork, so I could see what it was (you can imagine what I was thinking) and thank heaven's it was only a piece of toilet paper. It scared the crud out of me and I swear, I was on the verge of throwing up.

I called the Dr and she called me back within minutes (which I'm very thankful for) and said that if I continued to bleed so heavily, I should go to the ER. Tony and I prayed and I laid down. I wasn't bleeding for about an hour, then it started up again, so I went to the ER. They got me in right away and I can tell you, I was expecting the absolute worst but praying for a less grim outcome. I couldn't imagine with that much blood that there was anything possible except something very bad. They took blood, started IV fluids, and did a pelvic exam. The nurse in there was really nice and said that they see a LOT worse than what I was having and the dr said that my cervix is closed (yay) but kind of just oozing blood. That sounds really gross, but hey, this isn't a pretty experience. Actually that's close to what I said to the dr and nurse as they had me scoot down for the pelvic exam, 'I feel sorry for you guys, this isn't going to be pretty!' and the nurse responded it wasn't the first and certainly not the last time they'd be doing the exact same thing.

After that, I felt somewhat optimistic because I had thought maybe my cervix was becoming incompetent or something which was not the case. Then it seemed to take quite a while to get wheeled over to the ultrasound tech station, but luckily I thought to grab 'The Poisonwood Bible' before I left the house because I knew there was no way I could sleep when I was so nervous. Finally, I got over there and the ultrasound tech was less than helpful, but I saw what I had been praying for...a live and healthy little beating heart. Bean even did a little wave for me! I exclaimed almost immediately, 'it's alive!' and the tech goes, 'yep.' Like I said, not helpful. So I breathed a sigh of relief and watched the rest of the ultrasound asking questions as the tech measured different areas. The heartbeat was 141 and based on measurements, the tech put me at 17w6d. I asked if he could see the gender, I figured since he was there, he might as well look. Unfortunately Bean is breech and kind of in a squatting position, so he couldn't get a good look and I don't think he really cared much either. Then he started measuring some stuff next to the baby's head and adjacent to the placenta. 2 squishy looking masses and I said, 'what are those?' and he goes, 'I don't know.' Kind of ominous. He said he couldn't tell me anything regarding the bleeding and that the radiologist people would have to look at it first and then the dr would tell me what they find.

Basically that was that and then I was wheeled back to my room. Since I had seen Bean and felt much more at ease, I was able to sleep for a bit. It took a very long time for the dr to come in and give me the ultrasound results, but in the meantime the nurse came in and said 'So they told you about the miscarriage?' and I was just flabbergasted. I mean, what, I just saw my kid living and moving 2 hours ago, what the heck?! So say very calmly, 'did they say why it's a miscarriage?' and she goes, 'I don't know. Well the paper says threatened miscarriage. You'll have to ask the dr.' Um, thanks, that was really what I wanted to hear from someone who apparently has no idea what they're talking about!

The dr came in a while later, said some stuff about hematomas, which I didn't really understand and then I was discharged. I talked to my OB on the phone. She said these clots are not uncommon and sometimes just dissolve on their own and everything is fine. Other times it ends in miscarriage. She said I was on bed rest until further notice and to call if I bled a lot more. She sent me over to the perinatal assessment dept to get another ultrasound to be read by the high risk ob on staff. That took a while, but the tech was very helpful and explained everything to me.

The tech said the baby is extremely healthy and measured all the important parts. She showed me in detail the clots. There are 2 that are towards the bottom of my uterus, one is directly over my cervix, and it may or may not be connected to the other one. They're pretty large, if you combined them, they'd be about the size of the baby's head. She said it would be very scary if I passed either or both of the clots just because of their size. The placenta is very low lying but they're not sure if it's actually over the cervix because the one clot is in the way of seeing it clearly. She checked the gender for me and got a very clear shot of the area, definitely a little girl! Nola Madison is on her way!

I'm going to remain positive. I'm tough and I know God works miracles all the time, so I am going to carry Nola to full term and deliver a healthy, happy, and safe baby girl come November. I will keep everyone updated in the meantime. Please pray that this all turns out well. If there's one thing we need, it's to be covered in prayer.