5 Weeks Along

It’s been exactly one week since I found out that I was pregnant and I really and truly still can’t believe that it’s actually happening. This is something that I’ve wanted so badly for so long I honestly never thought that it would happen. I never thought that I would look down and see 2 lines on a pregnancy test, it really is a miracle. I had really given up on getting pregnant naturally. I keep wondering what was different about this cycle than the 12 previously and the only thing I can think is that God has perfect timing. I was supposed to get pregnant now, with this child, not with any of the possible children of the past 12 cycles, but this particular child. I know that after I give birth I will say that I could not imagine my life without this child and I know it will be true. God works in mysterious ways, that’s for sure.

The first few days were completely surreal. It felt like at any moment this gift would be taken away from me and all of my excitement and joy would have been in vain. Now it is beginning to sink in little by little. I’ve gone to a few baby stores to look around and every time my eyes well up with tears when I start to think that I actually belong there because I’m pregnant. I’m no longer the girl who would browse the store not looking at things for a friend’s baby shower, but looking for things for her baby that might possibly one day be. I’m amazed that out of the 7% sperm that were any good, one of them managed to get all the way up the fallopian tube and break through the egg to fertilize it. That is just astounding to me.

I feel like there is a reason for my existence now. A purpose that is bigger than just to live and have a good time. My body is now the home and nutrients for one of God’s many miracles. I’m overjoyed, amazed, and astounded that I get to be a part of the bigger picture. Here is my 4.5 week belly shot.