Saltines are my New Best Friend

I really think that my mother-in-law is going to figure out that I'm pregnant when they come down next weekend to help us move. When Tony was on the phone with her the other day she asked "Is Leatrice pregnant?" His response was "we're working on it." I can't ever remember her asking if I was pregnant before, so the fact that she knows we've been trying can't possibly be the reason she asked. So I've come to the conclusion that she's got ESP.

Symptoms
So I'm having quite a few symptoms now. I am NOT nor would I EVER complain about being pregnant, it's just that this is what goes along with the whole process and I want to document. So having said that, here we go!

I thought it was really odd in the beginning because I've been on these ivillage message boards for quite a while and it seems that every month every woman on there (including myself) finds a glimmer of hope in anything that might even possibly be construed as a "pregnancy symptom." Well, what I thought was odd is that I didn't really start experiencing any symptoms until about 22 days past ovulation. That's over a week after my period was due.

To begin with it was basically the acid reflux kicked into high gear. I have it pretty bad normally (without meds I throw up into my mouth at least 7 times a day) but with prilosec it pretty much is gone. So I'm not sure if it was the pregnancy or not being able to take the prilosec (I switched to Zantac) or most likely it was a combo of both factors, but it got worse.

Then just general tiredness. Like the previously mentioned symptom, had that before as well, now it's pretty much the same.

These last two came on at pretty much the same time, about a week ago.
Nausea and constipation.
These are definitely the kickers. And once again, I had these before too. Before it was kind of a touch and go thing, now it's more constant. I pretty much am afraid to eat anything, but then I also feel hungry. I think I've just discovered that by trying not to eat anything I was just making it worse. Although, I did lose a pound. God should have made it where you get this whole morning sickness thing when you're not pregnant, it'd be a great diet tool! Also, I've never been so happy to poop in my life! It's the little things, it really is.

I really could be a walking ad for pepto bismol:
nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, constipation!
Ok so I changed that last one, but it's close enough.

Insurance

Woohoo!

I've already made and canceled 2 ob/gyn appointments due to insurance issues. First I was just going to make an appointment and pay for it myself. At my regular ob that would be $140 out of pocket just for the blood pregnancy test. Then I'd have to go to some orientation thing, then make an appointment to actually see the dr and have the whole workup done (who knows how much that would cost). Also, I really don't like my ob in the first place. So then I talked to Sarah who shares and ob with Meredith and they both like her a lot, so I called up her office and they do the whole workup on the first visit which would cost me about $175 out of pocket plus however much the blood tests run through the lab. So then I decided that I would just wait until I got my insurance through medicare and then call to make an appt with Sarah's dr. Well then I realized a few days later that I would now qualify for ahcccs because baby makes 3! So I went and applied right away, then all I could do was wait to get the info in the mail...or so I thought.

I called ahcccs this morning to see if I made an appt and went would ahcccs reimburse me after the fact. Well it's nearly impossible to get an actual person on the phone, but finally someone answered! He ran my social and he said that my coverage date started on march 22 and it's retro back to march 1! So this is fantastic!

I made an appt with Sarah's dr for April 9 and I'm hoping they'll schedule me for an ultrasound soon thereafter. They said they will do an ultrasound if they either don't know when you conceived (and I obviously know that date) or they want to check the pregnancy's viability. I'm thinking since this is a high-risk pregnancy from Lupus and I could throw in that I've been having cramping (which is generally completely normal) that they'd order an ultrasound. I can't wait to see my little baby! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Sorry, I'm excited.

6 Weeks Now

As I was lying in bed this morning, I had a realization. God really knows that I can do this. By giving me this pregnancy, he is showing that I am capable of carrying a miracle in my body. He is saying that I’m capable of raising a child.

For so long I’ve thought that on the days when I literally cannot move from my bed, I would neglect a child. I remember a few months ago after a trip to Young Marrieds I came home and completely broke down to Tony. I was sobbing thinking that I could never be a good mother because of circumstances in my life, but now I know that’s not true. By giving me this gift that I never thought I could posses, God is also giving me another gift. He’s giving me the gift of assurance in knowing that he wouldn’t entrust such a precious miracle to me unless he knew that I could not only sustain a child, but nourish it. I am no longer fearful because I know that God is working through me and he will not let me down.

Another realization was that God picked me out all the people in the world to have this particular child. I mean, how awesome is that?! The odds were definitely against me in that equation, but it shows me just how much God loves me. I’ve always known he loves me, this just shows how much…and it’s a lot.

6 week belly shot

5 Weeks Along

It’s been exactly one week since I found out that I was pregnant and I really and truly still can’t believe that it’s actually happening. This is something that I’ve wanted so badly for so long I honestly never thought that it would happen. I never thought that I would look down and see 2 lines on a pregnancy test, it really is a miracle. I had really given up on getting pregnant naturally. I keep wondering what was different about this cycle than the 12 previously and the only thing I can think is that God has perfect timing. I was supposed to get pregnant now, with this child, not with any of the possible children of the past 12 cycles, but this particular child. I know that after I give birth I will say that I could not imagine my life without this child and I know it will be true. God works in mysterious ways, that’s for sure.

The first few days were completely surreal. It felt like at any moment this gift would be taken away from me and all of my excitement and joy would have been in vain. Now it is beginning to sink in little by little. I’ve gone to a few baby stores to look around and every time my eyes well up with tears when I start to think that I actually belong there because I’m pregnant. I’m no longer the girl who would browse the store not looking at things for a friend’s baby shower, but looking for things for her baby that might possibly one day be. I’m amazed that out of the 7% sperm that were any good, one of them managed to get all the way up the fallopian tube and break through the egg to fertilize it. That is just astounding to me.

I feel like there is a reason for my existence now. A purpose that is bigger than just to live and have a good time. My body is now the home and nutrients for one of God’s many miracles. I’m overjoyed, amazed, and astounded that I get to be a part of the bigger picture. Here is my 4.5 week belly shot.

OH. MY. FREAKING. GOSH.

OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!

I just got my positive pregnancy test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in complete shock and I'm just so happy I can't even tell you!!! I guess for us it was meant to take a whole freaking year to get pregnant. I am so thankful for this, I've never been so happy to feel sick in my entire life! Thank you God, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm due for my period today, had sour stomach in bed, so got up to go to the bathroom at 4 am, took a pregnancy test, and set it down on the floor. I always look away for a couple seconds then pick it back up because I can't handle watching it turn negative. I just glanced down at the floor and I thought I saw a second line. Of course I figured I was imagining it as always, so I picked it up, and it was 2 lines! No doubt about it! So I quick pulled up my underwear and ran out into the bedroom turned on the light and shook Tony. I go "what does that look like to you" sticking the thing in his face, and he goes, "what's this?" then he looks at it a sec and goes "oh my gosh!" and hugs me. Then I took a million pictures!

Background is I have lupus, Tony just had SA done like 3 weeks ago that came back with 7% morphology, which is quite low. I seriously thought we were going to have to go through all the testing and procedures come June when he got insurance through work, but oh my gosh, now we don't!

Symptoms: Nothing. Not a single thing out of the ordinary. It felt like every other month where my nipples get bigger right before AF. I do remember feeling sort of a cramping feeling on my right side about 7 dpo which is also when my chart shows a temp dip, so maybe implantation? Otherwise, I was just feeling a little acid stomach this morning while I was trying to sleep (4am) and got up to go to the bathroom, took a test, and it turned positive instantly! I had discharge (like super wet underwear) 11-12 days past ovulation (which is very normal for me). Then almost no discharge 13 dpo (also normal) so I thought for sure my period was coming today. I even toldTony yesterday, "well I know I'm getting my period" and he says "stop it." So guess he was right!

What we did diff: Nothing. We do the same thing every month. Use preseed and an Instead Cup every time around O. I leave the IC in for about 12 hours though, and one day it was in for 24 hours (I know that's not healthy, but if it worked, well then who cares!?) According to my chart I O'ed later than my Clear blue Easy fertility monitor said, so if that's true, then we didn't have sex the day of ovulation, but we did the day before it.

So that's my story!