Saturday, September 17, 2016


What is honesty?  Apparently it's being good and truthful and having honorable intentions according to Merriam-webster.  The bible has about a bagillion scriptures on the importance of honesty, ok maybe not a bagillion, but a lot.  I've always prided myself on being a very honest person.  I actually really suck at lying, so it doesn't even make sense for me to attempt being dishonest.  I've also never believed in the statement 'ignorance is bliss'.  So basically, I had lied by omission to someone who I didn't really know, but I felt very strongly (after months of prayer etc) I needed to apologize to.  So I did.  It was terrifying, but it went much better than I could have ever imagined.

Now 2 months have passed since this apology and life is moving on as it tends to.  If I'm being honest (which isn't that what this is really about?) my soul is still healing and I'm sure will always be scarred.  Of course, these wounds are partially self-inflicted since I will be the first to admit that I am not blameless.  In all of this there comes a lot of reflection about everything and anything, but the main thing I keep coming back to is 'what is this life all about? What is the point?'  And I think my answer to that is the point for me is to continue to love others with my whole self, just as Jesus would.  It sounds cliche, but it would be very easy for me to say 'nope, I'm done with that, it leaves me too vulnerable to pain.'  However, I don't believe that's the path God has set out for me.  Yes, there is a right way and wrong way to go about loving people, but the fact that I care so deeply about people (although it can lead to a lot of pain) I think is really a blessing after all.  

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