Thursday, August 14, 2008

26 Weeks

I'm not feeling particularly well today, but I think that might have more to do with our hot water heater issue than the pregnancy. I've pretty much had a headache all day and all of my muscles are just sore feeling, like you feel when you have the flu. Otherwise, I'm normally doing quite well. This past week has been pretty uneventful as far as the pregnancy is concerned. Embry is kicking harder and it seems that her little feet are way at the top of my stomach already, which I would guess means that I'll be growing 'out' rather than 'up' from this point on. My pregnancy ticker, for the message board that I post on, pointed out to me that this week marked 100 days until the end of my pregnancy. Let me just say, "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oh dear Lord, I don't think I'm ready for all this yet! Not only am I scared out of my mind about the labor and delivery, but the thought that I will actually be responsible for the care of another life when honestly, I can barely take care of myself, oh geez, I'm just not so sure about this. I know that God has a plan and I'm more than willing to do my part in that and I trust him completely, but it still doesn't negate these feelings of fear. My hope is that it will all work out better than I could expect and I will be pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Don't get me wrong though, I have a lot of excitement and anxiousness and just simply awe at the whole prospect of meeting my little girl. I am so excited to see what she looks like and to dress her in cute little outfits and show her off to everyone. I am so anxious to get to know her and learn about what kind of a person she is. I am in awe of the fact that I am carrying a life inside of me. I was chosen to be the vessel for one of God's children and I couldn't be more thankful.

That last point leads me into the next part of my post which you may find to be offensive or controversial or you may just get mad, but my thought is that this is my blog and I can write what's on my mind and you have the choice whether to read it or not. So if you would rather not read it, that's fine, but I really need to write it.

This past Sunday at church there was a section of the service in which about 20 people stood up and held cardboard signs that on the first side said a struggle they have had in their life and then on the other side said what they have done to overcome that struggle. Well I was all well and fine until one particular girl held up her sign and I completely lost all composure. The first side said something like "I am the product of a gang rape" and the second side said something like "now I am an OB and I counsel women about abortion." I can't even imagine the pain that her mother went through during that time in her life, but she gave her daughter the chance at life and her daughter went on to truly make a difference in the world. This is a perfect example of why, even in the horrible instance of pregnancy through rape, it is not a woman's choice whether their child lives or dies. We cannot even begin to comprehend the plans that God has for every single child, whether or not they get the chance to live outside of the womb or not. The fact is that God knows each and every child, he knows everything about them, and he has a plan for their life. We are here to fulfill God's will and if we are chosen to be blessed enough to carry a child it is our duty to do that to the best of our ability. When people say that it is a women's right to choose, I often wonder, what exactly are we choosing? The answer is that we are choosing between allowing a life to exist or killing a life. Who am I to deny another the gift of life which God has bestowed upon them? God did not give me the right deny life, in fact, he specifically instructed that I not take another's life. How then do I reconcile the fact that many christians believe that abortion is acceptable? I don't think that I can ever know an answer to that question, I think it is actually impossible. After the church service on Sunday I thought about the presidential candidates and their stance on the topic. What I came to conclude is that even if I disagreed with every single stance but the candidate was prolife, I would vote for that candidate because it just means that much to me. Life is a gift. Life is something that is given by GOD, not by man (or woman in this case) and I could not vote for someone who would support the exstinguishing of God's most beautiful and innocent creations.

With that said, here are my 26 week belly shots!

1 comment:

dledlow said...

You are beatiful!!!!! I understand your fear, but God puts something in a mother that takes over this fear. As soon as you give birth to this marvelous miracle, God's love will erase all of the fear. You will be a wonderful mom, you have a good head on your shoulders and you make good decisions.... after all you married my son :):) Anyway, I am very excited and will see you soon!