28 Weeks

Woohoo for officially being in the third trimester! According to my pregnancy books, I've been in it for about 2 weeks now, but I like the 12/16/12 week division better. Also if you deliver 38 weeks or after I guess it's considered full term, or something like that, so really we'll say I've got about 10 weeks left. Wow, 10 weeks, that's like 2 months (or 83 days)...the time is sure to fly!

My delivery anxiety seems to be escalating the closer it gets. I actually had a dream last night where I delivered Embry and it was easy as pie, which is how I described it to someone else in the dream who was about to deliver. I said "I had my baby last night, it's easy as pie! Just like taking a big poo!" Yes apparently even in my subconcious dream world, I'm very weird. Speaking of last night, I had a really bad time sleeping and on second thought I guess I shouldn't have eaten all those cheetos yesterday. *Note to self: do not give in to EVERY craving.

Big news of the week is that I'm making significant progress on the nursery. I actually got the letters for her name hung up on the wall and they're even fairly straight! Then I moved on to going through the bins of baby clothes that have accumulated. I separated the girl from the boy clothes and then organized the girl clothes according to size. Now I just have to label them and put them back into boxes. Also, did I ever mention that I found the corner shelves I had been looking for? They have them at JoAnn fabric in white but they're $30 each, so I'm buying them one at at time (I wanted 3) when I have the 40% off one item coupons. We're getting the nursery and the office wired for ceiling fans too, so then I won't need the floor lamp for that room and it won't be sooooooo hot in there anymore, yay! Believe me, I'll post pictures once I get everything picked up off the floor. :)

Oh and Tony and I took some pregnancy pictures this past weekend. I am pretty happy with the way they turned out and I figured it'd be good to get some more "artsy" ones done before (or in case) I start getting the stretch marks. If you want to see them, you can look here. Just so you know, I'm not exactly fully clothed in all pics, but I think they're tasteful...and now you've been warned.

27 Weeks

My pregnancy ticker says that today marks exactly 90 days until the end of my pregnancy...scary, overwhelming, insane, yet exciting as well!

I'm completely upset about a certain thing that has happened within the last week. Dare I say that in my mind, this is an absolute tragedy. Besides the obvious, this is probably one of the worst things that could have happened to me during this pregnancy. And it is...wait for it, wait for it, hemorrhoids! When I found this lovely surprise 2 days ago, I was on the verge of tears, I might even go as far as to say, I was having a melt down. I cannot explain how hard I've tried to avoid this, but I will try anyway. For the past 10 years or so (ever since my mom had surgery to remove them and I saw the incredible amount of pain she was in afterward) I have spent countless hours sitting, waiting, wishing to poo and refusing to even give the tiniest push to help it along. If you know me, you know that I have major poo issues resulting from lupus and the ever-so-lovely meds that I'm on, so there's a lot of time spent on the porcelain throne anyway, then all the more time when I, being so deathly afraid of the big 'H', won't give a little push. Basically, I feel completely defeated...like I've lost a 10 year long war that I've been waging. Why did I waste so much time trying to preserve my pooper if the big 'H' was inevitable anyway?! I mean honestly, like 1/4 of my life in the past 10 years has been completely wasted, and for what? NOTHING! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. The thing that really gets me now is how I'm expected to push out 4 kids after this one and somehow still avoid the wretched removal surgery? Somehow I don't think I'll end up winning this battle in the end.

*Big Sigh* and moving on! Back pain=still there and worse, side pain=off and on, general muscle pain=yep, left shoulder/right hip pain=gone (:)), headaches=slight, diarrhea=all the time, exhaustion=I'm real tired, low b/p episodes=more frequent. So that's pretty much the breakdown and still, this is way better than before I was pregnant, so praise Jesus!

Embry's moving around like a crazy kid and I love her more everyday. I read in my pregnancy book that about 50% of lupus pregnancies make it to 40 weeks, the other half deliver early, wether from induction or early labor. I've gotta say, I wouldn't mind delivering a little early. I don't think Embry is going to be very big in the first place, but if she's on the small side then she'll be easier to push out...pushing seems to be the theme of this post. Anyhow, I have my next OB appt on Sept 2 and then after that the appts will be every 2 weeks instead of every 4 weeks. I'm going in for my gestational diabetes test on August 29 and then on Sept 5 we have our 28 week ultrasound at St. Joe's (where we normally go). After scouring Tucson it is apparent that there are no U/S places that will allow pictures or videos, so my dream has officially been dashed. Poop on their faces! The other big news is that I signed us up for the birthing classes at TMC, yahoo! There are 3 classes each from 9-12 on Saturday starting on Sept 6. I'm so excited to go, mostly for Tony's sake, but also because it sounds like fun to me.

Now, I've been watching 'Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood' (I'd underline that, but I can't figure out how) and Tori Spelling recently had her baby on the show. Well, she brought along her own hospital gown which was just adorable. It was black and white zebra striped with a gathered neckline and sleeves and a hot pink ribboned empire waistline. I've seen them before, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how fun it would be to have one. Well turns out that buying a cute hospital gown will run between $50-$100 (and I'm pretty sure you'd throw it away afterwards considering what's going to get all over it), and of course Tori's was on the high end of that range. Then I thought, how difficult could it really be to make a hospital gown? I mean it's basically a big cotton sack with some ties and snaps, but then I realized, it's probably a lot harder than it seems in theory and I wouldn't want to put my mom through the torture of trying to figure it out. Maybe I should get a sewing machine and try myself...hmmmm...

I will now bestow upon you my weight stats thus far according to my own scale and almost obsessive weighing. We'll say that my beginning weight was zero to make this all easier and go from there. Ok so...
starting weight: 0
lowest weight: -16
current weight: -8
If I were to gain a total of 15 lbs from my starting weight throughout the pregnancy, I'd be a happy camper. From what I've heard, you pretty much lose that much during delivery, so that would be awesome. Then hopefully my body can go back to its pre-prepreganancy weight and all will be well with the world. Once I go to the dr again I'll get all their numbers and post those for comparison. The problem is they didn't weigh me till I was 7 weeks along and had already lost quite a bit of weight, so they're a little behind.

And now for the 27 week pictures!

26 Weeks

I'm not feeling particularly well today, but I think that might have more to do with our hot water heater issue than the pregnancy. I've pretty much had a headache all day and all of my muscles are just sore feeling, like you feel when you have the flu. Otherwise, I'm normally doing quite well. This past week has been pretty uneventful as far as the pregnancy is concerned. Embry is kicking harder and it seems that her little feet are way at the top of my stomach already, which I would guess means that I'll be growing 'out' rather than 'up' from this point on. My pregnancy ticker, for the message board that I post on, pointed out to me that this week marked 100 days until the end of my pregnancy. Let me just say, "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oh dear Lord, I don't think I'm ready for all this yet! Not only am I scared out of my mind about the labor and delivery, but the thought that I will actually be responsible for the care of another life when honestly, I can barely take care of myself, oh geez, I'm just not so sure about this. I know that God has a plan and I'm more than willing to do my part in that and I trust him completely, but it still doesn't negate these feelings of fear. My hope is that it will all work out better than I could expect and I will be pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Don't get me wrong though, I have a lot of excitement and anxiousness and just simply awe at the whole prospect of meeting my little girl. I am so excited to see what she looks like and to dress her in cute little outfits and show her off to everyone. I am so anxious to get to know her and learn about what kind of a person she is. I am in awe of the fact that I am carrying a life inside of me. I was chosen to be the vessel for one of God's children and I couldn't be more thankful.

That last point leads me into the next part of my post which you may find to be offensive or controversial or you may just get mad, but my thought is that this is my blog and I can write what's on my mind and you have the choice whether to read it or not. So if you would rather not read it, that's fine, but I really need to write it.

This past Sunday at church there was a section of the service in which about 20 people stood up and held cardboard signs that on the first side said a struggle they have had in their life and then on the other side said what they have done to overcome that struggle. Well I was all well and fine until one particular girl held up her sign and I completely lost all composure. The first side said something like "I am the product of a gang rape" and the second side said something like "now I am an OB and I counsel women about abortion." I can't even imagine the pain that her mother went through during that time in her life, but she gave her daughter the chance at life and her daughter went on to truly make a difference in the world. This is a perfect example of why, even in the horrible instance of pregnancy through rape, it is not a woman's choice whether their child lives or dies. We cannot even begin to comprehend the plans that God has for every single child, whether or not they get the chance to live outside of the womb or not. The fact is that God knows each and every child, he knows everything about them, and he has a plan for their life. We are here to fulfill God's will and if we are chosen to be blessed enough to carry a child it is our duty to do that to the best of our ability. When people say that it is a women's right to choose, I often wonder, what exactly are we choosing? The answer is that we are choosing between allowing a life to exist or killing a life. Who am I to deny another the gift of life which God has bestowed upon them? God did not give me the right deny life, in fact, he specifically instructed that I not take another's life. How then do I reconcile the fact that many christians believe that abortion is acceptable? I don't think that I can ever know an answer to that question, I think it is actually impossible. After the church service on Sunday I thought about the presidential candidates and their stance on the topic. What I came to conclude is that even if I disagreed with every single stance but the candidate was prolife, I would vote for that candidate because it just means that much to me. Life is a gift. Life is something that is given by GOD, not by man (or woman in this case) and I could not vote for someone who would support the exstinguishing of God's most beautiful and innocent creations.

With that said, here are my 26 week belly shots!

25 Weeks

Today 3 people noticed that I was pregnant without me telling them. That was very exciting for me! First it was the head rheumatologist, then the guy at the lab, then a lady working at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

On Friday night, Tony and I went to see a movie and pick up his birthday present (a ps3 which I may end up regretting, haha) and while we were at Best Buy I wasn't feeling very well. I basically was feeling like I should sit down, kind of lightheaded and nauseous. So then I thought, well maybe I should go to the bathroom, so I did and that didn't do anything. Then while we were in line I had to quick run outside cuz I thought I was going to throw up. I realized at that point what was happening. I was on the verge of blacking out from low blood pressure. This hasn't happened for about 3 years, so I was a little confused, but I laid down in the car and drank a bunch of water (what the cardiologist told me to do) and then it was all better in about 10 minutes. Anyhow, I've heard of that happening to pregnant women and I'd guess I'd be more susceptible since I had this problem before, but it scared the heck out of me.

I went to the OB on Tuesday and that was a good visit. I'm now at -1 lbs total and the bp and baby's heartbeat etc was all normal. I was only in the waiting room (and I was the only person there) for 10 minutes past my appt time. Then I sat in the room for another 35 minutes before the dr came in, but that was still way better than my normal wait time! The dr said that the pain in my side was most likely stretching, could be related to my back too, but since it had gone away it was nothing to worry about. She said that my back pain being worse is definitely something that goes along with pregnancy. I asked her if I could go to a different place for my 28 week ultrasound so I could take pictures and get a video of the ultrasound, she said she would send me wherever I wanted, but now the problem is finding a place that will allow pictures. If anyone knows of a place, please let me know! I told her about the low b/p episode and she said that when you're pregnant your veins open up more and so you're more likely to get dizzy/blackout/faint. She said to not make any sudden position changes and to stay hydrated...basically what I already knew.
WARNING: this last part may be more than you ever wanted to know about me and if you're a guy, I'm guessing you really don't want to know, but it's part of pregnancy, so here goes!
Then I asked her about my nipple issues...the right one has a dark brown uneven spot on the bottom which she said was normal and the left one has been leaking and has crusty cracks both of which she said was normal. So that's all good! I thought also the women might want to know (I know I would if I was reading this) but the size of my nipples (including areola) is just insane. I mean, it's ridiculous how big they are and I've shown a few friends who've been like stunned by the size. Anyhow, the left one is 2.75" from top to bottom and the right one is 3.25" from top to bottom. So now, since you're curious, you can all go and measure your nipples!
Ok the bad part is all done, you can start reading again. :)

Today I had the long-awaited rheumatology appointment. Overall it was a great experience, well as good as going to the dr can be I guess. The dr I saw is doing his rheumatology fellowship (which apparently is a 2 year program after you complete your normal 2 year residency in order to become a specialist) and he was a very nice and funny younger guy. I asked him why he wanted to go into rheumatology and he said that it was because his mom has lupus. I tried to tell Tony that once I got home and I couldn't even get the words out without crying (and yes I know I'm overly emotional) because that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. If we have a boy in the future, that is exactly the kind of son I would want to have. He loves his mom so much that he wants to make a difference in other people's lives who have the same problem she does just because he's seen the pain she's gone through. Ah, so basically, I'm sold on this guy! The main thing that happened at this appointment was that I got 2 steroid injections, one in my left shoulder and one in my right hip. I forgot what the steroid was, but it wasn't cortizone. I'm guessing it was something a little milder. Anyhow, the injections didn't hurt AT ALL which was surprising to me since the lidocaine injections I got in my back a few years ago hurt quite a bit. I also met the head rheumatologist and he was also very nice and specifically said "these problems are not small problems." That made me feel really good because they're not just brushing me off and telling me there's nothing they can do or implying that I'm crazy...it seems like they actually care. He even held my hand while I got the injections because I was afraid they were going to hurt. Also, they don't think the bumps on my knee are skin tags or psoriasis, so they want to send me to a dermatologist to figure it out. They're going to wait till after I have Embry to do a scan on my back to see if there have been any bone changes etc. Then I gave lots of blood and urine and I was all done! So far the injection sites feel fine. He said they would be good for about 24 hours because the injection also contained a bit of lidocaine (to numb it) and then it might feel worse for about a day, then the steroid would kick in. The steroid effects could last anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months and I'm hoping it's the latter since then it would take me through the end of my pregnancy.

Embry should be about 2 lbs by now, so woohoo, yay for her!