I'll Admit It, I Was Wrong

Nola is not my easy child.  At least not right now.  She has recently become, how shall I say it?  Difficult. Whiny.  Easily angered.  Stubborn.  Clingy.  She's pretty much at least 1 of those about 90% of her waking hours.  I have no idea what happened to my sweet little cuddle bug! 

At first I thought, well maybe she's getting a tooth, or maybe she doesn't feel well because this is not how she normally acts.  Now, months later, it has become the norm.  She's crying at LEAST 1/2 the day and I have no clue how to fix it or what she wants.  At some points, I can give her anything...water, milk, food, cookies, cuddles, hugs, hold her, swing her, take her swimming...and absolutely NOTHING will make her happy. 

Maybe it's the terrible twos starting early?  Maybe it's just a phase (Oh God, please let it just be a phase!).  You know that saying, 'this too shall pass' well what if it never passes?  What if she's like this the rest of her life?  Just a disagreeable person who is unhappy and doesn't know what she wants?  Ugh, that would so suck! 

For now I'm just going to hold onto the hope that sometime, someday, she'll be over it.  Whatever this is that she's going through, I'm going to believe that she'll come through it.  Hopefully once it's all over I'll still be sane and able to tell the tale of the happy girl who turned into a crankster only to once again turn into a happy girl.  Maybe we'll even laugh about it.  Not today though, cuz it's not funny.  Not at all.

It's been a while

  We went to Wisconsin:

At my Aunt Linda and Uncle Terry's farm

At the Wisconsin State Fair

Embry's first roller coaster

a family party

Milwaukee County Zoo

at the Betty Brinn Museum

After dinner near the river in Milwaukee

10 Year High School Reunion

At the Mall of America in Minnesota

Visiting Tony's Great Aunt Longine

Brewer Game

At a Lake in Minnesota

Then a few days later I went to the MOPS convention in Dallas:

Endocrine Follow Up

Talked with the endocrinologist last week and he said that all my levels are within normal range and that one of the images from St Joes that I had done a year ago showed my adrenal glands and they looked fine as well.  So he did not want to order an MRI of my brain.  He said there was probably subtle damage of the pituitary gland, but since the tests are normal, that shows it is still functioning so I just need to continue my current dose of Levothroid and my levels should stay stable.

So why won't this fat go away?  I oscillate between being disgusted with myself and thinking that it's ok to just be ok with the way I look and go on living.  Sometimes I see my reflection and think, 'I don't look that bad.'  and other times I'll see a picture of myself and think, 'holy cow, who is that huge fatty?!' 

I started taking Cymbalta to help with anxiety and joint pain, but it also has the side effect of weight loss due to lack of appetite.  However, I've been on it a week and still not losing any appetite.  Especially when I work out, I get sooo hungry!  You know that feeling you get in the back of your throat when you're just starving...that's what happens when I work out.  It's hard to push that feeling out of your mind, let me tell ya!  I know what it feels like to have no appetite because that's exactly what happened after I came off the feeding tube and people kept pushing me and pushing me to eat more even though that's the last thing I wanted to do.  I think that might be where this all started because eating more combined with my thyroid going whacky would send my body into a metabolic tailspin right into fat-land. 

Moving on...Nola is saying words in context now.  Like she knows what some things are without even seeing them and she can name them.  Like, she knows her milk is in the fridge and she'll say 'thank you' without being prompted.  She's growing up, but she's still my little tiny baby girl.  I had a HORRIBLE experience with her the other day when they had free kids meals at Chilis.  I took both the girls out to lunch by myself and we sat down and Nola just flipped out.  Like serious screaming, kicking, throwing herself on the floor meltdown.  I tried everything: snacks, milk, crayons, toys, blanket...she just kept screaming.  So I told Embry to not move and I rushed Nola into the bathroom where she continued the tantrum for a good 5 minutes before I whisked her and Embry out of the restaurant.  The waitress took pity on me and didn't charge me for our food since we had only gotten our drinks so far.  Once we got to the car, she was absolutely fine...I however was crying from exhaustion and embarrassment.  Ugh! 

 Embry spent 3 hours a day for 5 days at church for a 'Sky' themed vacation bible school a week ago.  She LOVED it!  Each age level learned 2 songs from a children's cd and performed in on stage that Friday night.  She's had me play those 2 songs over and over and over again every time we're in the car since then.  It's a little repetitive, but still cute to hear her little voice singing along with big hand motions and everything.

She insisted she wear all her headbands to VBS one day

At the Friday night program

Nola really enjoyed the umbrella

The performance, Embry is the second from the right

Nola going to see Pancake Pig.

Embry in the obstacle course at VBS

Embry and her friend Ava in the train.

My section of the mom to mom sale

most of the mom to mom room

We finally completed our lastfundraising effort of the summer for MOPS...The Community Fair!  It was a huge success, much more than we had anticipated and we had about 1500 people come through.  We ended up with over 100 vendors which spilled into our outdoor space and about 20 sellers for the mom to mom portion (which is what I was in charge of).  It was a LOT of work and now we have to write out a bunch of thank you notes for all of the donations we received and sponsors and vendors.  I talked to the woman who headed it up this morning and she said she already had vendors and patrons contact her about when next year's fair is going to be because they want to make sure to be included.  I'd say that's a good sign for future success.  :)

Independence Day

 Nola loved to play in the big mud puddles!

We went to a bbq at a park with some of our friends from Young Marrieds.  It was a lot of fun even though the weather turned into the rainiest day we've had all year!  Although this also meant it wasn't sweltering hot, so all in all, it turned out great!  The girls had so much fun splashing around and playing on the playgrounds with their friends.

 The sun came out for a little while.

 We had lots of fun in the splash pad!

 Embry loved the splash pad, we haven't been there since last year when Nola was just a baby.  Nola was very apprehensive and hardly got wet, but that was to be expected, she hates getting splashed.

 Nola kept her food in her mouth the entire time.  She's crazy.

 

Sisters!

Then we went to the University of Arizona parking garage to watch the fireworks on A Mountain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fireworks show started at 9:15 and then after about 1 minute it stopped for about 20 minutes.  Apparently one of the pyrotechnic guys had a medical emergency and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.  Then the fireworks started again.  Embry seemed to like them a lot and kept saying 'wow!' and 'that was a big one!' and Nola just repeated me saying 'ooooh' and 'aaaah'.  We started towards home around 10:30 and both kids slept on the car ride home.